Showing posts with label The things that pop into my mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The things that pop into my mind. Show all posts
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Random Thought #14
I have no idea how to use a dishwasher. I really need to learn how to use one. Hand washing is just easier.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Insane in the brain
So I had this crazy dream last night and it's been on my mind all day. I will put footnotes at the bottom of this post that make this all the more confusing.
It begins in the Philly Deli (1), a restaurant I worked at five years ago, of course it melded into the job I now have as a paralegal.
So there I am, taking orders and chatting with my bosses Alan and Michele, the phone rings and this little old lady at a nursing home (2) in town hasn't received the drafts to her Will (3) yet. So I panic and tell my boss but we can't figure out how to get Internet in the restaurant. So we spend sometime trying to figure that out and the whole time I'm still taking orders and clearing tables and doing dishes, etc. I never figured out how to get the Will to the lady and went home.
My best friend from childhood (4) was at my house and I was excited to see her, we talked and eventually fell asleep, I woke up and she was cuddling with me which made me feel very awkward and so I got up and decided to take a shower.
I go to my bathroom and undress. All of a sudden the door opens and my old friend Nathan (5) is there. I can't remember what he wanted but I was naked and he was staring. After I got rid of him some other people barged in on me while I was indecent.
Then my ex-friends-with-benefits, Ian (6), showed up and kept kissing me.
So I finally got rid of everyone and hopped in the shower(7). All of a sudden, this guy breaks down the bathroom door points a gun at me and orders me to get out of the shower. I yelled at him no! After he explained something to me that I can't remember, I felt a little safer but he kept pointing the gun at me and telling me to get out of the shower. I kept saying NO! He tells me he loves me (8) and shoots the fucking shower door and for some reason it is bulletproof. The bullets ricochet and hit him in his side. He starts to bleed out and get out of the shower and hold him as he dies.
Boom! I awake. (9)
1. It was the type of place where you order at the counter and I would serve the food and drinks at the table. I did everything there orders, busing, dishes, etc. I loved it but the recession killed it and the owners had to close.
2. We recently had a shooting at the nursing home two blocks away from my work. It really scared me because I had the back door to my office open all day because if had been freshly painted and it was drying. The person who did the shooting was actually an 87 year old resident and so I was in no danger but it was still a little scary.
3. The last couple months at my current job have been very busy and a little behind so we have had people calling about where there documents are.
4. Mickey is her nickname and she lives in LA. I haven't seen her in years but we still email pretty regularly.
5. Nathan was my best friend when all my friends left me for college. I love him because he was there for me at a really difficult and hard time in my life. I had feelings for him but I'm prettty sure it was because he was the first guy in my life that was there for me. We drifted apart long ago, something happened on my 21st birthday that he couldn't forgive me for but that another story for another day.
6. Oh Ian. We are still friends. No benefits. He has a fiance and I like her. I would never do that to her and I don't have any feelings for him.
7. My personal bathroom does not have hot water. It's no big deal, the bathroon downstairs has hot water and that's where I bathe. My shower is currently a storage for anything I can't fit in my closet. In the dream it was clear and had nice hot water.
8. I can't remember his face. I can never remember their faces when they tell me they love me.
9. So I am downright certifiably insane, right?
It begins in the Philly Deli (1), a restaurant I worked at five years ago, of course it melded into the job I now have as a paralegal.
So there I am, taking orders and chatting with my bosses Alan and Michele, the phone rings and this little old lady at a nursing home (2) in town hasn't received the drafts to her Will (3) yet. So I panic and tell my boss but we can't figure out how to get Internet in the restaurant. So we spend sometime trying to figure that out and the whole time I'm still taking orders and clearing tables and doing dishes, etc. I never figured out how to get the Will to the lady and went home.
My best friend from childhood (4) was at my house and I was excited to see her, we talked and eventually fell asleep, I woke up and she was cuddling with me which made me feel very awkward and so I got up and decided to take a shower.
I go to my bathroom and undress. All of a sudden the door opens and my old friend Nathan (5) is there. I can't remember what he wanted but I was naked and he was staring. After I got rid of him some other people barged in on me while I was indecent.
Then my ex-friends-with-benefits, Ian (6), showed up and kept kissing me.
So I finally got rid of everyone and hopped in the shower(7). All of a sudden, this guy breaks down the bathroom door points a gun at me and orders me to get out of the shower. I yelled at him no! After he explained something to me that I can't remember, I felt a little safer but he kept pointing the gun at me and telling me to get out of the shower. I kept saying NO! He tells me he loves me (8) and shoots the fucking shower door and for some reason it is bulletproof. The bullets ricochet and hit him in his side. He starts to bleed out and get out of the shower and hold him as he dies.
Boom! I awake. (9)
1. It was the type of place where you order at the counter and I would serve the food and drinks at the table. I did everything there orders, busing, dishes, etc. I loved it but the recession killed it and the owners had to close.
2. We recently had a shooting at the nursing home two blocks away from my work. It really scared me because I had the back door to my office open all day because if had been freshly painted and it was drying. The person who did the shooting was actually an 87 year old resident and so I was in no danger but it was still a little scary.
3. The last couple months at my current job have been very busy and a little behind so we have had people calling about where there documents are.
4. Mickey is her nickname and she lives in LA. I haven't seen her in years but we still email pretty regularly.
5. Nathan was my best friend when all my friends left me for college. I love him because he was there for me at a really difficult and hard time in my life. I had feelings for him but I'm prettty sure it was because he was the first guy in my life that was there for me. We drifted apart long ago, something happened on my 21st birthday that he couldn't forgive me for but that another story for another day.
6. Oh Ian. We are still friends. No benefits. He has a fiance and I like her. I would never do that to her and I don't have any feelings for him.
7. My personal bathroom does not have hot water. It's no big deal, the bathroon downstairs has hot water and that's where I bathe. My shower is currently a storage for anything I can't fit in my closet. In the dream it was clear and had nice hot water.
8. I can't remember his face. I can never remember their faces when they tell me they love me.
9. So I am downright certifiably insane, right?
Monday, January 7, 2013
It's just that kind of day...
Just a minute ago, I logged on to my home page (Yahoo!) and on the right hand corner they have things that are trending. I quickly glanced at it while I clicked on the website I was going to. In that short time I swear to god, it said "Baby Unicorn Killed" as the top trending story. I panicked and quickly went back and somehow my brain mashed up “lottery winner killed” and “unborn babies fingernail.” I think it might be time to go home.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Random Thought #12
Where did the expression "Balls to the wall" come from. I might be naive here but I get the impression "balls" means testicles, but to the wall? Hmm... I have to look this up.
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Shit! You learn something new every day people, for example:
Borrowed from Wordorigins.org
Balls to the wall
Dave Wilton, Saturday, April 08, 2006
The phrase balls to the wall, meaning an all-out effort, comes from the world of aviation. On an airplane, the handles controlling the throttle and the fuel mixture are often topped with ball-shaped grips, referred to by pilots as (what else?) balls. Pushing the balls forward, close to the front wall of the cockpit increases the amount of fuel going to the engines and results in the highest possible speed.
The earliest written citation is from 1967, appearing in Frank Harvey’s Air War—Vietnam:
There are two common misconceptions about the phrase. The first is that it is a reference to a part of the male anatomy.
The second is that it arose in railroad work. A speed governor on train engines would have round, metal weights at the end of arms. As the speed increased, the spinning balls would rise--being perpendicular to the walls at maximum speed. But there is no evidence to support either of these two stories. No use of the phrase is known to exist prior to the mid-1960s, and all the early cites are from military aviation.
1Frank Harvey, Air War--Vietnam (New York: Bantam Books, 1967), 144.
2Ibid., 150.
Copyright 1997-2012, by David Wilton
Word Origins please don't sue me for posting this!
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...
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Shit! You learn something new every day people, for example:
Borrowed from Wordorigins.org
Balls to the wall
Dave Wilton, Saturday, April 08, 2006
The phrase balls to the wall, meaning an all-out effort, comes from the world of aviation. On an airplane, the handles controlling the throttle and the fuel mixture are often topped with ball-shaped grips, referred to by pilots as (what else?) balls. Pushing the balls forward, close to the front wall of the cockpit increases the amount of fuel going to the engines and results in the highest possible speed.
The earliest written citation is from 1967, appearing in Frank Harvey’s Air War—Vietnam:
You know what happened on that first Doomsday Mission (as the boys call a big balls-to-the-wall raid) against Hanoi oil.1And:
You’re in good hands with Gen. Disosway as long as you go in on those targets balls to the wall. Never mind the brownie points.2Several Korean War-era veterans have written me noting their use of the term during their service. The phrase may very well date to this earlier war, although we have no written evidence for it.
There are two common misconceptions about the phrase. The first is that it is a reference to a part of the male anatomy.
The second is that it arose in railroad work. A speed governor on train engines would have round, metal weights at the end of arms. As the speed increased, the spinning balls would rise--being perpendicular to the walls at maximum speed. But there is no evidence to support either of these two stories. No use of the phrase is known to exist prior to the mid-1960s, and all the early cites are from military aviation.
1Frank Harvey, Air War--Vietnam (New York: Bantam Books, 1967), 144.
2Ibid., 150.
Copyright 1997-2012, by David Wilton
Word Origins please don't sue me for posting this!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Random Thought #11
Do mermaids ever get sunburns? I'm sure they do if they are laying on a rock or on land. But do they get one of those refelective sunburns the water gives you. Another thought, do they get cancer? Sharks don't get cancer, but would mermaids? Mermaids are such a mystery to me. My favorite movie growing up was the Little Mermaid, my best friend and I would fight about who got to play her when we were playing. She probably should have won, she had the red hair. I just really wanted to be one.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
I just realized...
I'm probably not going to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. It's just occurred to me as I fell up the stairs for the third time this year. I'm too klutzy. And now I'm just completely depressed.
Oh, I had the scariest dream last night. It was about a serial killer who apparently lived in my house before I did. He was coming back to kill all of us and his warning was when the windows would bleed. I, of course, looked at the windows and there was blood running down them. So I ran downstairs and got a knife and waited. Then, for some reason, I figured out it was a dream and woke myself up. I was so freaking hot when I woke up. My cat had crawled under the blankets in the middle of the night and she was snuggled against my back and it was making me boil. I was so scared from my dream that I turned on my TV and searched for cartoons and petted her as she purred. There are no cartoons on at 5am. I almost put a dvd on but I was too scared to get out of bed so I watched the news which was really no help at all. Basically, I'm very tired today.
Oh, I had the scariest dream last night. It was about a serial killer who apparently lived in my house before I did. He was coming back to kill all of us and his warning was when the windows would bleed. I, of course, looked at the windows and there was blood running down them. So I ran downstairs and got a knife and waited. Then, for some reason, I figured out it was a dream and woke myself up. I was so freaking hot when I woke up. My cat had crawled under the blankets in the middle of the night and she was snuggled against my back and it was making me boil. I was so scared from my dream that I turned on my TV and searched for cartoons and petted her as she purred. There are no cartoons on at 5am. I almost put a dvd on but I was too scared to get out of bed so I watched the news which was really no help at all. Basically, I'm very tired today.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Ramdom Thought # 9
Why can't they make movies that don't suck anymore? Are there no more original ideas anymore? Come on Hollywood make something that's entertaining and has substance.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Random Thought #6
When the Zombie Apocalypse happens, will they be the crazy fast zombies that can chase you down or the slow, moaning ones you can pretend to be to escape?
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Random Thought #5
Why is it that the only time you really need your cell phone you forgot it at home?
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Random Thought #3
WTF is baking soda?
Back story: Last Friday I went to Starbucks and got a venti skinny Carmel Macchiato. I put it in my passenger's side cup holder because I had a bottle of water in the driver's side. I turned the corner and the whole fucking thing tipped onto the floor of the passenger's side. THE WHOLE THING! I hadn't even had a sip yet. So I was in the middle of traffic and could do nothing be cuss and drive. I got to a place where I could turn off and got all of the napkins in my car and soaked up as much as I could. But I only had about twenty fast food napkins and 24 oz of liquid. So I went to the store and bought an entire roll of paper towels and soaked more up. Three days later it started to smell. I realize that I should have done more sooner but I was really busy and I forgot. So I started to read online what I could do without pulling the whole carpet out. One thought was to get rid of the odor to put baking soda on it. I had also tried kids n pets and soaked the floor the day before. I put the baking soda on and watched it turn to paste. Fantastic. I waited another day and vacuumed up the paste but the smell was still there but a little different now it smell like sour milk and baking soda paste. So the next day I put another box of baking soda onto it. As I was doing that I pondered the above question.
It still smells. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Back story: Last Friday I went to Starbucks and got a venti skinny Carmel Macchiato. I put it in my passenger's side cup holder because I had a bottle of water in the driver's side. I turned the corner and the whole fucking thing tipped onto the floor of the passenger's side. THE WHOLE THING! I hadn't even had a sip yet. So I was in the middle of traffic and could do nothing be cuss and drive. I got to a place where I could turn off and got all of the napkins in my car and soaked up as much as I could. But I only had about twenty fast food napkins and 24 oz of liquid. So I went to the store and bought an entire roll of paper towels and soaked more up. Three days later it started to smell. I realize that I should have done more sooner but I was really busy and I forgot. So I started to read online what I could do without pulling the whole carpet out. One thought was to get rid of the odor to put baking soda on it. I had also tried kids n pets and soaked the floor the day before. I put the baking soda on and watched it turn to paste. Fantastic. I waited another day and vacuumed up the paste but the smell was still there but a little different now it smell like sour milk and baking soda paste. So the next day I put another box of baking soda onto it. As I was doing that I pondered the above question.
It still smells. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Random Thought #2 James Bond
Don't you think its time that James Bond settled down. I mean of course a relationship with an international spy has to be hard but don't you think he should start looking for a lasting one. Girl after girl, after girl, after girl. And most of them damsels in distress. Maybe he should look for someone based on how they can handle themselves or just maybe a regular everyday woman without a tragic back story. And of course she would have to be able to deal with the fact that he's an international man of mystery and she can't know where he is all the time. But then he's got to be close to retirement by now. It just seems like enough is enough, the man has had to have some sort of disease by now. Plus he is always running around and that has to be hard on a body no matter how well you take care of yourself. He should just buy an island and relax for the rest of his life with a wonderful woman at his side. Pass the torch to the next 00 agent. Just a thought.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Random Thought #1
I would walk around barefoot all day if I could, but I really don't think feet are very attractive. They are quite gross, really. I mean hands are pretty, but feet... grotesque. Whats with toes any way, I know that they are useful but I feel they could at least look better. All knobby and shit.
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