Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Photoshop... you make me feel bad

My mom is taking a photography class. She is slowly easing into retirement by only working two days a week and doing as much as possible on her five-day weekend. Listening to the things she's been doing is exhausting. The one thing I really like is her photography class. I always wanted to take one but never had the time or money to do it. She bought a new expensive camera and she also bought Photoshop. I was super excited to play with her new stuff. I took the camera into the woods and tried for some "artistic" pictures. They all looked horrible so I deleted them all. Then I did what all crazy people do and started to take pictures of my cats. After about a hundred pictures, I decided to give the cats a break and play with the Photoshop. I had some pictures from New Years on my mom's computer. I decided to touch them up. I got rid of the stubborn acne (I'm 27 when is it going away!)  I brightened my teeth and the white parts of my eyes and cropped out the larger parts of me. Then I did something I shouldn't have done. I posted it on Facebook. People I haven't talked to in years started "liking" it and commenting on how beautiful I looked. This morning when I looked at it I felt horrible. That picture is a lie! How can models in magazines handle this kind of guilt? All they ever do is live a lie. But I do look really good in that picture. I'm not taking it down. I'm just going to have to learn to live with this guilt.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Random Thought #11

Do mermaids ever get sunburns? I'm sure they do if they are laying on a rock or on land. But do they get one of those refelective sunburns the water gives you. Another thought, do they get cancer? Sharks don't get cancer, but would mermaids? Mermaids are such a mystery to me. My favorite movie growing up was the Little Mermaid, my best friend and I would fight about who got to play her when we were playing. She probably should have won, she had the red hair. I just really wanted to be one.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I shouldn't let it bother me so much

I have a person in my life that I really shouldn’t give the time of day. But the thing is, I feel sorry for them. This person has very little friends and has no one to tell their problems to. I am their number one confidante. But I really am starting to hate them. I’m sick of being belittled and told I’m not smart enough. I’m sick of being told the things I do are wrong and I’m not educated. I’m sick of resenting this person because their problems are ridiculous. They never do anything to correct their problems and never take my advice. They are 100% narcissistic. I can’t get rid of them or just ignore them. This person is someone who will be in my life forever. I’m being very vague here and I have to be. I just really wish they could be a normal person but they never will be.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

What I've learned from "I didn't know I was Pregnant"

After watching I didn't know I was Pregnant for four hours the other day, I learned the following:

1. The girls on it (mostly) don't know how to take birth control correctly.
2. It seems like labor is like having extremely bad menstrual or gastrointestinal cramps.
3. The people they get to reenact the events never look anything like the real people.

Also, I'm really glad I've been celibate for so long because that shit is terrifying.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I thought I was hearing voices...

I just went to my local library, it was like Norm walking into Cheers. Except with whispering.

Happy Anniversary Blog!

It was one year ago today that I published my first post on my first blog. It was just a rambling piece of nonsense but it was my first step of doing something that I always wanted to do, which is have a journal. A journal so I won't forget. Or at least something I can read when I don't remember.  This blog means a lot to me. I'm pretty much the only person that reads it but that is completely fine with me. to me my blog is a place where I can vent and a place where I can rejoice and be sad. I can do what ever I want here and not be judged. This is my place of peace of mind. All I need to do to clear my mind is rock out a few sentences. Happy anniversary The Luxury of Lunacy! This lunatic needs you.