tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74376348958656553922024-03-12T16:01:18.771-07:00The Luxury of LunacyLife and trials of a suburban girl waiting for something to happen.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-7759941997918482642014-07-25T12:07:00.002-07:002014-07-25T12:07:53.381-07:00Alone.<span lang="EN"><div align="LEFT" dir="LTR">
Most days, I just don’t think about it. Then something happens. I don’t have days like this because I won’t let myself. But I get let down by someone I rely on. And it’s always something so small and stupid. Today my best friend let me down by not going to a fitness class. That’s it. She had more important things to do with her boyfriend.</div>
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<div align="LEFT" dir="LTR">
Last time I can really remember this happening my other best friend was beginning a relationship that I knew was it for her. I felt abandoned. I was miserable because they don’t get it. My girls are all I have. I am terrified of guys. I do not want to be judged. I don’t want to be hurt. I do not know how to even start to put myself out there. I am too shy. I can’t talk to guys. I’m crippled. I just can’t.</div>
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So today after being ditched at the gym. I get a phone call and it was all downhill from there. I came home to be alone. I could feel the tingling behind my eyes. I didn’t want to start. But I am never alone, am I? I live with my parents. My mother did something so small and tiny that shouldn’t have upset me. But it did. I lashed out and cried in my bed for ten minutes, went to the bathroom and cried on the floor for a little while. </div>
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And now here I am trying to feel better by purging my feeling where no one will ever find out how extremely fucked up I am. I feel a little better. But the loneliness is still there.</div>
</span>Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-89620360735917970602014-01-08T20:10:00.001-08:002014-01-08T20:10:44.260-08:00SomedayJust one week, someday in the future, I am going to do nothing for anyone else and everything for myself.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-74651747493772154922013-12-05T20:59:00.003-08:002013-12-05T20:59:48.488-08:00Cat peopleOne time I woke up at three a.m. and saw my cat lying on the floor in the dark. I talked to her for about two minutes before turned on the light and saw that it was a dufflebag.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-16019539566955551482013-10-28T10:22:00.001-07:002013-10-28T10:22:53.148-07:00Christmas - ruined.Ruined.<br />
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Well that didn't take long considering it's only October but people are determined to ruin my Christmas. My all time favorite holiday when I was a child has been demoted to a nuisance by my friends. Why, you may ask? Money. Time. Using your brain to actually think about a person other than yourself. It's just such hard work. And above all it has to be fair. <br />
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That's not Christmas. I don't want anything in return. I just want you to be happy and I want to present you with a token of my gratitude. I want to thank you for being my friend. I want you to feel loved because I do love you. That is why I give you a present. <br />
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So this is what I want to say but I'm not really going to say it:<br />
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I understand that your dad doesn't want to do any presents. I won't get him anything then. But you will not take away my holiday. I will get you something, I will use my brain to think of something thoughtful. I will spend however much I want. I will do something completely unselfish because I love you and there is nothing you can do to stop me.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-55449145911746323442013-07-01T20:26:00.000-07:002013-07-01T20:26:42.419-07:00I am me.<span lang="EN">It took me about 28 years to figure out that I’m amazing. Before that I felt inconsequential, someone who you could easily forget about. Around 25 was the point where I just couldn’t care less about the people that seemed to have a problem with me. Now in my 28th year, I am so very happy to be who I am. I am cool, I am funny, I am so awesome that I have the best friends in the entire world. They actually choose to talk to me on a daily basis. And I am so lucky to have people in my life that want me to be a part of their lives. I’m guessing that this is what most people feel in life. This gradual acceptance of who you are. Of how unique and different you are and owing it. Feeling you are on top of the world and not giving a damn about the people that are judging you from the bottom. This is what it must feel like to fly. To be so high above it all. Far above the pressure of fitting in and fully embracing the differences that make you so very awesome. I still feel it sometimes. To be completely honest I still feel that pull of insecurity. I feel like I’m not good enough. But then I shake it off. Because in the wise words of Florence Welch “it’s hard to dance with the devil on your back!” I think that small sense of insecurity is what makes us human. And I’m human! An amazing, funny, smart, kind, wonderful human!</span>Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-32563542923828168782013-05-30T09:09:00.000-07:002013-05-30T09:09:54.463-07:00Random Thought #14I have no idea how to use a dishwasher. I really need to learn how to use one. Hand washing is just easier.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-77846143860922243162013-02-06T19:28:00.002-08:002013-02-06T19:38:24.317-08:00Insane in the brainSo I had this crazy dream last night and it's been on my mind all day. I will put footnotes at the bottom of this post that make this all the more confusing.<br />
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It begins in the Philly Deli (1), a restaurant I worked at five years ago, of course it melded into the job I now have as a paralegal. <br />
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So there I am, taking orders and chatting with my bosses Alan and Michele, the phone rings and this little old lady at a nursing home (2) in town hasn't received the drafts to her Will (3) yet. So I panic and tell my boss but we can't figure out how to get Internet in the restaurant. So we spend sometime trying to figure that out and the whole time I'm still taking orders and clearing tables and doing dishes, etc. I never figured out how to get the Will to the lady and went home. <br />
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My best friend from childhood (4) was at my house and I was excited to see her, we talked and eventually fell asleep, I woke up and she was cuddling with me which made me feel very awkward and so I got up and decided to take a shower.<br />
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I go to my bathroom and undress. All of a sudden the door opens and my old friend Nathan (5) is there. I can't remember what he wanted but I was naked and he was staring. After I got rid of him some other people barged in on me while I was indecent. <br />
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Then my ex-friends-with-benefits, Ian (6), showed up and kept kissing me. <br />
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So I finally got rid of everyone and hopped in the shower(7). All of a sudden, this guy breaks down the bathroom door points a gun at me and orders me to get out of the shower. I yelled at him no! After he explained something to me that I can't remember, I felt a little safer but he kept pointing the gun at me and telling me to get out of the shower. I kept saying NO! He tells me he loves me (8) and shoots the fucking shower door and for some reason it is bulletproof. The bullets ricochet and hit him in his side. He starts to bleed out and get out of the shower and hold him as he dies. <br />
Boom! I awake. (9)<br />
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1. It was the type of place where you order at the counter and I would serve the food and drinks at the table. I did everything there orders, busing, dishes, etc. I loved it but the recession killed it and the owners had to close.<br />
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2. We recently had a shooting at the nursing home two blocks away from my work. It really scared me because I had the back door to my office open all day because if had been freshly painted and it was drying. The person who did the shooting was actually an 87 year old resident and so I was in no danger but it was still a little scary. <br />
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3. The last couple months at my current job have been very busy and a little behind so we have had people calling about where there documents are. <br />
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4. Mickey is her nickname and she lives in LA. I haven't seen her in years but we still email pretty regularly.<br />
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5. Nathan was my best friend when all my friends left me for college. I love him because he was there for me at a really difficult and hard time in my life. I had feelings for him but I'm prettty sure it was because he was the first guy in my life that was there for me. We drifted apart long ago, something happened on my 21st birthday that he couldn't forgive me for but that another story for another day.<br />
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6. Oh Ian. We are still friends. No benefits. He has a fiance and I like her. I would never do that to her and I don't have any feelings for him.<br />
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7. My personal bathroom does not have hot water. It's no big deal, the bathroon downstairs has hot water and that's where I bathe. My shower is currently a storage for anything I can't fit in my closet. In the dream it was clear and had nice hot water.<br />
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8. I can't remember his face. I can never remember their faces when they tell me they love me.<br />
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9. So I am downright certifiably insane, right?Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-12672157505597094662013-01-30T10:20:00.001-08:002013-01-30T10:20:40.181-08:00My Cousins.I have three girl cousins. My cousin in California is pretty normal, I don't really know if this is true but she is 37, happily married, has a brand new baby boy and is a physical therapist. I'm sure that because she shares genes with me that she has some form of crazy but I, unfortunately, don't see her or talk to her enough to know what it is yet. <br />
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My other cousin in California is the closest to my age (three months younger) and is only in San Diego because her husband is in the Coast Guard and is stationed there. She grew up in Seattle and her mom was my dad's twin sister. I've mentioned before that my aunt (her mom) died at an early age from Alzheimer's. My cousin is completely convinced that her mom didn't love her and that she was a terrible mother. I think that my aunt was mentally ill long before my cousin was born and that she just couldn't handle what others have told me was a very difficult child. My cousin was always smart in a book sense. She can read book after book. She loves to read. She also feels that this make her superior. She is a complete narcissist. She has numerous mysterious medical conditions that the doctors can't diagnose. She has ruined her marriage by never compromising and being completely unbearable. And none of it is her fault. She has this superiority that she feels over everyone and it drives me so insane. But I still love and care for her because regardless of what is true she feels that she got a bad deal out of life and I'm an enabler. I want her to be happy so bad but I truly feel that the only person she could ever truly love is herself and her dog.<br />
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My closest cousin, the one I am closest with, lives about 150 miles away. Our dads are brothers but I consider her my sister. She is seven years older than me. I was the Maid of Honor in her wedding. This is why she is hard to describe. She is as well a narcissist but in a different way. She doesn't feel superior to many people but she wants to. She cares way too much what people think about her. She cares about material things like brand names. Her marriage is falling apart because she can’t tell her husband how she feels. When I visit her I tend to notice how much she ignores her son, and how much he tries to get her attention, usually in a negative way. I want to tell her these things but I know if I do she will shut down. So I try to give her little hints. I guess I’m a lot like her in the way I can’t tell her how I feel. Sometimes I feel like she is a walking contradiction. She wants to live in a big expensive house, she lives on an old ranch. She likes young men who are very attractive and have a lot of money, her husband, while five years younger, is poor as a church mouse and is balding. She like to get dressed up and be very girly, loves football. I just think that the things that she think will make her happy would be a disappointment. I guess in a sense I feel like she has no direction and knows nothing about herself.<br />
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All of this is just me venting about these two above, I don’t have any brothers or sisters. They are the closest I have. I love both of them very much but I’m so sick of listening to the problems they have created for themselves. They both have incredible qualities that I’m jealous of like confidence in themselves and all together they are good, kind people. <br />
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Oh, I have a boy cousin too, he is the son of my aunt that passed away. I don’t talk to him. I don’t particularly like him. His girlfriend on the other hand is one of the best people I have ever met and he better put a ring on it because she would make our fucked-up family a little better. <br />
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I also had one more boy cousin, he was the brother of the first one I mentioned in California. When I was eighteen, I was driving home from work one night and it was foggy. I will never forget that feeling like something was terribly wrong. The fog felt like a bad omen. I made it home and my parents told me that he had died from a drug overdose. I never even knew he had a problem with drugs. He was an upper-class kid in Beverly Hills, but heroin doesn’t discriminate and is so very deadly. He was 23. His death had an odd affect on me, we weren’t close but it was very difficult for me.<br />
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Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-61242634683042888812013-01-21T12:38:00.002-08:002013-01-21T12:38:04.239-08:00LifeI'm having a weird day. First, I'm a little sad because one of my mom's friends passed away, she was one of my favorites. Just saw her six weeks ago and am really glad I had that last chance to spend time with her. I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning because it's still foggy and cold and I'm sick of it, I would welcome the rain at this point because it would at least mean it's warmer. I watched the Inauguration this morning and it made me a little misty-eyed. I really liked the singing and felt very proud to be an American. I was a little irritated I had to work today because it's technically two holidays, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Inauguration Day. My Boss called and said since we weren't busy I could go home. It's my parent's anniversary. I'm going to make them a cake. My emotions are all over the place and I'm pretty sure I have a red wine hangover from last night.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-10915649417826613362013-01-07T18:58:00.003-08:002013-01-21T12:38:23.171-08:00It's just that kind of day...<span class="userContent">Just a minute ago, I logged on to my home page (Yahoo!) and on the right hand corner they have things that are trending. I quickly glanced at it while I clicked on the website I was going to. In that short time I swear to god, it said "Baby Unicorn Killed" as the top trending story. I panicked and quickly went back and somehow my brain mashed up “lottery winner killed” and “unborn babies fingernail.” I think it might be time to go home.</span>Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-29526438658655417092012-12-03T12:14:00.000-08:002012-12-03T12:14:00.168-08:00Ho Hey!Did you read that last post? Wow pretty crazy, deep shit right there. Now I'm out of my funk! <br />
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Whoop!<br />
<br />
Feeling large and in charge! Especially large, fricking Thanksgiving. <br />
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Thanksgiving was a new adventure for me this year. My parents flew to Hawaii, so I was all alone and feeling sad (see last post). Fortunately I got to pick them up. At the airport. In Seattle. On FUCKING Thanksgiving! Everyone was like "Oh there won't be a lot of traffic on Thanksgiving night." They had to be smoking crack. It. Was. Awful.<br />
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But I'm getting ahead of myself. <br />
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First two weeks before Thanksgiving I was pretty sure that I was going to my neighbors house for Thanksgiving. I had talked to him about it and he invited me, which I accepted thankfully because no one else had invited me yet. <br />
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Then once word hit the town that my parents where outta town and I was going to be a poor sad only child all by myself for Thanksgiving, the offers came like crazy. My friends, mom's friends, my neighbors at work, my other neighbors at home, my family all over the state. In the end I was invited to 11 Thanksgivings.<br />
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I thanked everyone (I was beyond moved and cried a lot) and told them I was going to stick to my original plan to go to Matt's house. Matt came into my office on Wednesday and told me that his uncle (my dad's favorite person) was in the hospital. He needed a triple by-pass and had a giant infection on his foot from an untreated injury. <br />
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I told him don't worry about me. Called Milly and she told me to come to her huge family Thanksgiving. When I got there on Thanksgiving there were 26 of us. I have never been to a big family Thanksgiving like that. We had twelve people at the most when I was a kid and my grand parents were still alive. Needless to say it was insane! Too many people not enough room to move and a LOT of alcohol flowing. It was pretty awesome. <br />
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After I went to Milly's house to play a couple card games before I had to leave to get my parents. I checked their flight to see if it was going to be late. No it was going to be a half hour early. I switched cars to my mom's Impala. And was on my way in the some of the most congested traffic I had ever seen. It was still moving but going under the speed limit. I finally got the the cell phone lots at Sea-tac and had to pee soooooooooo bad. But I couldn't find the Port-a-Potty. I finally found it and it was disgusting as usual. I'm pretty sure I have some sort of communicable disease now. My parents called and I picked them up and told my dad I was driving. <br />
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He said that was fine but then he started yelling at me every five seconds to switch lanes. The Impala has huge blind spots and I hate merging lanes so we fought a little about that. We finally got home four hours after I left. Such a happy Thanksgiving. <br />
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The next day I went to Annie's house for her Thanksgiving and it was a ton of fun. Then we had a really little family Thanksgiving on Sunday with my parents. <br />
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All in all, I had a great time and love it this year. Plus I never had to do dishes! SCORE!<br />
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Uncle Bill (Matt's Uncle) had his triple by-pass last week and is moving to a rehab facility near my work today. I am going to go visit him tomorrow I think. He is doing well and walking around a little.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-90940161759968903112012-11-19T09:53:00.001-08:002012-11-19T09:53:37.302-08:00Crushing, Pulsing, SqueezingI really have no problem being alone. <br />
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Which is a complete lie. It is crushing on the inside, to not have someone to share the simplest things with. The little things, inside jokes and stolen kisses. I truly believe that in the long run, it’s the little things that matter the most and when you’ve never had them it hurts even more. When you have a bad day, you have no one to comfort you. When something amazing happens to you, there is no one cheering you on. No one to claim your heart when it’s reaching out for someone. <br />
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The longing pulses through your veins, knowing you’re all alone. It’s all you own fault. You push everyone away. No one in your life wants to be with you because you won’t let them. You are a sounding board for all your friends and never let anyone else see how much pain you’re in. That you are down this deep whole that they can’t help you out of. You wonder how you became this way in the first place. What happened to you to so badly damage you.<br />
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It squeezes the heart to pretend to be ok. To look alright on the outside but to be utterly jealous of your friends, co-workers, even your own parents. And your friends and family know it’s all an act but it’s this unspoken elephant in the room. No one wants to talk about how someone could be so badly damaged that they can’t even talk to someone because they are so scared. Scared to be rejected, or heartbroken. To have to put walls up someone one can truly see you. Make sure no one can know who you really are. To be the person who is destined to be alone is the most depressing thing in the world.<br />
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My biggest wish in the whole world is to be loved, and to love back. Seems so simple but it’s impossible. Or at least it seems so for now. Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-83296206171339881892012-11-01T09:17:00.000-07:002012-11-01T09:17:07.164-07:00Random Thought #13Why are they called Spelling Bees? It seems like a horrible name for a spelling contest.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-55210241548245954212012-09-12T09:40:00.003-07:002012-09-12T09:40:57.133-07:00Friendly Conversations I was talking to Annie last night:<br />
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Annie: I don't know if it's because I'm getting old or if it's because I've gained a little weight but I hate jeans.<br />
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Me: Oh. My. God. I totally know what you're talking about.<br />
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Annie: I went out to dinner with Josh last night and I couldn't wait to get home to put on my yoga pants.<br />
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Me: I think it's all socially acceptable pants I hate, all I wear is slacks at work and I immediately put my sweats on when I get home. <br />
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Annie: All I ever want to wear is yoga pants, all day every day.<br />
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Me: I really don't know why we can't?<br />
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Annie: Yoga Pants...<br />
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Me: I know.<br />
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Yet I see teenagers in the grocery store wearing pajamas and slippers and I hate them, maybe I'm just jealous.<br />
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Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-78593942787637813142012-09-10T15:32:00.001-07:002012-09-10T15:33:09.678-07:00Even this post depresses me.I’ve been depressed lately, probably because I’ve been too busy and whenever I go out to have fun it’s a let down. Most of August I was house sitting,. I didn’t get to see much of my friends, and when I did it was pretty much me being all sober and them not. Which most people can tell you is not a ton of fun. Some fun things happened:<br />
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I went to a Hootie concert, you know that Darius Rucker guy. It was very fun. <br />
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I baby-sat my 4 year old (5 years old today) nephew for 30hrs straight. That was good birth control.<br />
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I went out on the boat a couple times. Got a warning ticket even tough I wasn’t driving and didn’t own the boat.<br />
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I went to the Ellensburg rodeo, didn’t see the rodeo but I went. That’s a whole ‘nother story.<br />
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Mostly I’ve spent a lot of time all by myself with various animals. Watching crappy reality TV and reading romance novels. The books are probably what is throwing me down this dark hole. I really shouldn’t read them anymore but they’re so easy and I’m bored. I need a vacation. Something to look forward to. Anything.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-12497530849263669442012-07-30T10:19:00.001-07:002012-07-30T10:20:11.280-07:00The craziest thing I have ever seenThis place I'm house sitting is adorable. It's a custom made cabin in the woods with an acreage. Two dogs, Rufus and Bristol and two cats, Princess and Beaumont. I met this woman through a friend. I don't really know her very well but I went over and met her, her two children and their animals about a week before they went on vacation. When I first met them, the bigger lab Rufus stuck to my side the entire time and I could tell he was the alpha dog between the two. The other dog Bristol is a little smaller but still a full grown lab. She was very hyper when I first met her and she just kept dropping her ball at my feet. The cat princess has some definite "cattitude". The chubby tabby runs around the house like it is all hers and yells at you until you pet her and while you pet her. Beaumont was no where to be seen when I was over there the first time. So the first thing I do when I arrive to start the job is play with the animals. Rufus was sad, I could tell. He came over to greet me them immediately went to go lie at the end of the driveway. He was waiting for his family to come home. Bristol went and found a ball and I found the Chuck-it (the greatest invention in the dog world) and we played for about a half hour. Then I went inside, left the door open and I finally saw Beaumont and I completely understood his name. He is gorgeous. I think he is some sort of Siamese mix. He is dark brown and tan with blue eyes. He was friendly and I pet him but he went outside. I went to go pet Princess and sat on the couch. She jumped (waddled) onto my lap. While petting her, Bristol came in the room and dropped her ball at my feet. Princess hissed and swiped at her. Then in slow motion it happened: Bristol backed away a few feet then this brown blur streaked across the room and wrapped himself around Bristol attacked her in a split second. It was Beaumont! Princess also started taking swings at the full grown lab but then ran away. Beaumont was still attacking Bristol and she jumped on my vacated lap. Beau then just stood his ground on the floor next to the couch, growling the lowest, most vicious sound I have ever heard. Bristol cowered on the couch. I just sat there with my mouth open trying to believe what I had just seen. I have never seen a cat full-out attack a large dog before. Beaumont eventually left in disgust. I checked Bristol for wounds and found none. I felt bad for her so we went back outside to play with her ball. Both cats were out and staying in there own area on the porch. Rufus was still at the end of the driveway waiting (he is much better now and has decided they aren't coming home for a while and has perked up quite a bit). I started throwing the ball for Bristol and again Beaumont came out from under the porch and started chasing her. It was insane. He is one bad ass cat. In the last couple of days I have noticed that Bristol will not go anywhere near the cats but that Rufus and the cats have no problem with each other. It is so strange, wonder if the cats can feel Bristol's energy or something? She is very hyper and Rufus, Princess and Beaumont are all very relaxed. I will never forget that one moment though it was so crazy.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-48232690177533408872012-07-30T09:55:00.002-07:002012-07-30T10:21:59.581-07:00I don't have enough time to write on here because I'm busy doing nothingAlthough not completely true, I feel that the title of this post best describes why I haven't posted in four weeks. I have started to write three separate drafts but I got distracted by my job and now I can't remember what I was going to say in most of them. Since I last wrote I have done a ton of stuff. I had a mediocre 4th of July. The weekend after was much more exciting. My neighbor had his annual party at his house and I had to literally drag my parents away in the early hours of the morning. I went out on the Sea Doos with my friends and then we celebrated my best friend's mom's 60th birthday. The next weekend of the 14th, I went to an old friend's house for her birthday party which I enjoyed even though I was kicked out of my tent for a couple minutes while people defiled it. The next weekend of the 21st, I did absolutely nothing and thoroughly enjoyed it. This weekend, I started my busy season of house sitting. I am currently watching two houses, staying at one with two dogs and two cats. The other house is just a cat and a guinea pig. They both come back on Friday and I start two new houses. Then in another week I start another house while babysitting my nephew. It should be interesting. Also this weekend I went over to my friend, Milly's sister-in-laws house and had an awful dreadful time while I watched everyone get ridiculously drunk. I don't understand why they thought they were having a good time when everyone was just fighting but hey, it's just not my lifestyle. One thing<em> </em>I saw this week was the oddest, coolest thing I have ever seen. <br />
<br />
This deserves it's own post:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://theluxuryoflunacy.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-craziest-thing-i-have-ever-seen.html">http://theluxuryoflunacy.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-craziest-thing-i-have-ever-seen.html</a><br />
<br />Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-76310216474070459702012-07-02T16:25:00.003-07:002012-07-02T16:26:58.026-07:00Random Thought #12Where did the expression "Balls to the wall" come from. I might be naive here but I get the impression "balls" means testicles, but to the wall?<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span>Hmm... I have to look this up.<br />
...<br />
...<br />
...<br />
Shit! You learn something new every day people, for example:<br />
<br />
Borrowed from Wordorigins.org<br />
<br />
Balls to the wall<br />
<br />
Dave Wilton, Saturday, April 08, 2006 <br />
<br />
<br />
The phrase <i>balls to the wall</i>, meaning an all-out effort, comes from the world of aviation. On an airplane, the handles controlling the throttle and the fuel mixture are often topped with ball-shaped grips, referred to by pilots as (what else?) <i>balls</i>. Pushing the balls forward, close to the front wall of the cockpit increases the amount of fuel going to the engines and results in the highest possible speed.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span>The earliest written citation is from 1967, appearing in Frank Harvey’s <i>Air War—Vietnam</i>:<br />
<blockquote>
You know what happened on that first Doomsday Mission (as the boys call a big balls-to-the-wall raid) against Hanoi oil.<sup>1</sup></blockquote>
<sup>
</sup>And:<br />
<blockquote>
You’re in good hands with Gen. Disosway as long as you go in on those targets balls to the wall. Never mind the brownie points.<sup>2</sup></blockquote>
<sup>
</sup>Several Korean War-era veterans have written me noting their use of the term during their service. The phrase may very well date to this earlier war, although we have no written evidence for it.<br />
There are two common misconceptions about the phrase. The first is that it is a reference to a part of the male anatomy.<br />
The second is that it arose in railroad work. A speed governor on train engines would have round, metal weights at the end of arms. As the speed increased, the spinning balls would rise--being perpendicular to the walls at maximum speed. But there is no evidence to support either of these two stories. No use of the phrase is known to exist prior to the mid-1960s, and all the early cites are from military aviation.<br />
<br />
<sup>1</sup>Frank Harvey, <i>Air War--Vietnam</i> (New York: Bantam Books, 1967), 144.<br />
<sup>2</sup>Ibid., 150.<br />
<br />
Copyright 1997-2012, by David Wilton<br />
Word Origins please don't sue me for posting this!Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-20485613338820113872012-06-26T09:34:00.000-07:002012-06-30T11:23:30.244-07:00Olivia Munn, please hang out with me!I like to listen to audible books while I drive. Since at any time I like to just get in my car and drive until I feel better, I get a lot of audible books from the library and they have a ton of them. I like to get fiction usually, but I also enjoy biographies by funny ladies or men, but mostly ladies. I’m currently listening to Suck it Wonder Woman by Olivia Munn. I knew about Olivia from The Daily Show and some movies and I also knew she was like a geek goddess. She has an entire geek following and I’m a bit of a geek. So I thought this should be good, I’ll have a good laugh. Unfortunately, I <u>LOVE</u> it! I now have a full-on girl crush on Olivia Munn. I want to be her friend and braid her hair then watch some Lord of the Rings and comment on how awesome Samwise Gamgee is. At the end of her book she has these questions she answers in hypothetical situations and they matched all my answers. Except the TMNT question because of course I’d take Donatello with me to face Shredder, the rest of the turtles are just jackasses. And to be perfectly honest, I am in no shape to fight Shredder all by myself. Really, Olivia if you ever read this I’m not as crazy as I seem, even though my entire blog title suggests it. I’m a perfectly normal but bad-ass chick who just might pee my pants If I ever meet you. And, bonus, I make delicious pies!Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-47271219729229935292012-06-04T10:03:00.001-07:002012-06-04T10:04:16.998-07:00My nothing weekendI really needed this weekend. I did absolutely nothing but read Pride and Prejudice. I also mowed the lawn. That is it. It was weird to think that when I got into my car this morning that it hadn't moved since Friday afternoon. Not only was it a really relaxing weekend, I didn't spend any money! I'm rich! I actually have cash money in my wallet! That is all I have to say.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-16415293733622600952012-05-23T10:02:00.000-07:002012-05-23T10:02:05.487-07:00Photoshop... you make me feel badMy mom is taking a photography class. She is slowly easing into retirement by only working two days a week and doing as much as possible on her five-day weekend. Listening to the things she's been doing is exhausting. The one thing I really like is her photography class. I always wanted to take one but never had the time or money to do it. She bought a new expensive camera and she also bought Photoshop. I was super excited to play with her new stuff. I took the camera into the woods and tried for some "artistic" pictures. They all looked horrible so I deleted them all. Then I did what all crazy people do and started to take pictures of my cats. After about a hundred pictures, I decided to give the cats a break and play with the Photoshop. I had some pictures from New Years on my mom's computer. I decided to touch them up. I got rid of the stubborn acne (I'm 27 when is it going away!) I brightened my teeth and the white parts of my eyes and cropped out the larger parts of me. Then I did something I shouldn't have done. I posted it on Facebook. People I haven't talked to in years started "liking" it and commenting on how beautiful I looked. This morning when I looked at it I felt horrible. That picture is a lie! How can models in magazines handle this kind of guilt? All they ever do is live a lie. But I do look really good in that picture. I'm not taking it down. I'm just going to have to learn to live with this guilt.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-84511852934710919692012-05-22T09:23:00.002-07:002012-05-22T09:23:25.385-07:00Random Thought #11Do mermaids ever get sunburns? I'm sure they do if they are laying on a rock or on land. But do they get one of those refelective sunburns the water gives you. Another thought, do they get cancer? Sharks don't get cancer, but would mermaids? Mermaids are such a mystery to me. My favorite movie growing up was the Little Mermaid, my best friend and I would fight about who got to play her when we were playing. She probably should have won, she had the red hair. I just really wanted to be one.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-59120502451296012072012-05-16T14:38:00.000-07:002012-05-16T14:38:00.376-07:00I shouldn't let it bother me so muchI have a person in my life that I really shouldn’t give the time of day. But the thing is, I feel sorry for them. This person has very little friends and has no one to tell their problems to. I am their number one confidante. But I really am starting to hate them. I’m sick of being belittled and told I’m not smart enough. I’m sick of being told the things I do are wrong and I’m not educated. I’m sick of resenting this person because their problems are ridiculous. They never do anything to correct their problems and never take my advice. They are 100% narcissistic. I can’t get rid of them or just ignore them. This person is someone who will be in my life forever. I’m being very vague here and I have to be. I just really wish they could be a normal person but they never will be.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-53374530551041138042012-05-15T10:45:00.000-07:002012-05-15T10:45:10.906-07:00What I've learned from "I didn't know I was Pregnant"After watching I didn't know I was Pregnant for four hours the other day, I learned the following:<br />
<br />
1. The girls on it (mostly) don't know how to take birth control correctly.<br />
2. It seems like labor is like having extremely bad menstrual or gastrointestinal cramps.<br />
3. The people they get to reenact the events never look anything like the real people.<br />
<br />
Also, I'm really glad I've been celibate for so long because that shit is terrifying.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437634895865655392.post-5989276658304502952012-05-02T16:06:00.002-07:002012-05-02T16:07:00.808-07:00I thought I was hearing voices...I just went to my local library, it was like Norm walking into Cheers. Except with whispering.Virginiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02474832066887101033noreply@blogger.com0